This year, I am challenging myself and setting a goal to stop comparing.
It doesn't matter what phase of life I am in... I find myself comparing my current state with everyone else. Whether it's my friends, my family, the people I follow on Instagram. It's easy to see other peoples beautiful homes, jobs that they love, babies who sleep ALL through the night (this is a big one for me right now), their perfect hair, cute outfits...whatever it is... those are just snapshots of their life. Although I can't see it, I know that they have bad hair days, and their baby cry and don't always sleep, and that their job has it's ups and downs and that behind the image of their perfectly clean and decorated home, there are most likely piles of laundry and dust bunnies hiding in the corners.
Because honestly...who really has a perfect life thats all put together.. not anyone that I want to compare myself to.
So this year... I will stop looking at everyone else's 'perfect' photos and thinking thats what I have to measure up to. I will stop trying to make every photo look perfect with the cutest smile on my babies face, and the perfect filter, making sure to crop out the messes and dust bunnies in my pictures. Not that any of that is bad, but I don't want to live life trying to be perfect...because I'm not!
This is what half of our pictures of Grayson look like... :-\ it's all about what you choose to post...
So here's my real life confession:
Over the last 6 weeks, my prayer life has hit an all time high! Which is amazing! But so challenging at the same time. I sit holding my screaming baby with tears running down both of our faces, crying out to God, asking for strength and patience.
Being a mom is so hard sometimes. I want to love my child well, God has entrusted me with this little human, to love him and take care of him. But honestly, without the Lord's strength, I couldn't possibly do it. Being a mom requires you to be selfless, to give up sleep, showers, makeup, nice hair, hot meals... not that you can't have those things and be a mom... but the reality is that most days (especially when daddy's at work) those are all second priority to keeping my little guy happy, fed and clean. Which is OK! (really I'm ok with this...I think)
Being a mom is so hard sometimes. I want to love my child well, God has entrusted me with this little human, to love him and take care of him. But honestly, without the Lord's strength, I couldn't possibly do it. Being a mom requires you to be selfless, to give up sleep, showers, makeup, nice hair, hot meals... not that you can't have those things and be a mom... but the reality is that most days (especially when daddy's at work) those are all second priority to keeping my little guy happy, fed and clean. Which is OK! (really I'm ok with this...I think)
AND keeping this little human happy means throwing all of my preconceived ideas of what raising my baby would be like out the window...and not feeling bad about it. There are certain things that people (including me before baby) have ideas about and are frowned upon that just don't seem to matter anymore.
Example: I swore I'd never co-sleep. We got this sweet little bassinet and placed it next to the bed, and until recently, Grayson wouldn't sleep more than 30 minutes in it. When it comes down to it, I will let my nursing baby sleep in my bed if it means I get a 2 hour stretch of sleep compared to 30 minutes. He's getting better now and is slowly sleeping longer stretches in the bassinet, but he still co-sleeps too.
I think a huge part of parenting is simply trusting your gut. God has given us this 'mom instinct' that is so real. From the beginning, our baby has cried...A LOT. Everyone told me their baby cried too, and that it was normal... but my gut told me it was not normal and that something was off. Even my mom after seeing one of his fits said it didn't seem normal.
It's another topic for another day... but I refuse to believe that Colic is a real thing...it seems to be what doctors diagnose when a baby cries and they don't know why. There has to be a reason why my baby screams for hours on end in the evenings though.
Although I was skeptical, we took Grayson to the chiropractor this week, and he's already had 2 adjustments. We have seen so many improvements. It's been proven that long labors and deliveries (our labor was 54 hours with 2 hours of pushing) can really take a toll on the baby.
Well, clearly something was 'off' for Grayson... and we're getting it fixed!
He still cries and it's going to take time and more appointments, but he smiles more, he cries less, he seems happier...and that makes this momma happy!
A lot of people asked me when I was pregnant, what I was most excited about... and I always said that I was just so excited to be mom...to be the one that could calm the baby and make them happy. When baby cries, mom fixes it. And it absolutely broke my heart that I couldn't do that for my baby... he cried relentlessly regardless of what I was doing. And we are starting to see this change...and it's amazing!
So here's to 2016
...being real, being vulnerable and not comparing my life, my marriage or our baby to anyone else. I'll never be perfect...but heres to striving to be a good wife, momma and setting one heck of an example for my baby boy! May I only strive to be like Jesus...to love like Him, to serve like Him, and to be as patient as Him!!
It's another topic for another day... but I refuse to believe that Colic is a real thing...it seems to be what doctors diagnose when a baby cries and they don't know why. There has to be a reason why my baby screams for hours on end in the evenings though.
Although I was skeptical, we took Grayson to the chiropractor this week, and he's already had 2 adjustments. We have seen so many improvements. It's been proven that long labors and deliveries (our labor was 54 hours with 2 hours of pushing) can really take a toll on the baby.
Well, clearly something was 'off' for Grayson... and we're getting it fixed!
He still cries and it's going to take time and more appointments, but he smiles more, he cries less, he seems happier...and that makes this momma happy!
A lot of people asked me when I was pregnant, what I was most excited about... and I always said that I was just so excited to be mom...to be the one that could calm the baby and make them happy. When baby cries, mom fixes it. And it absolutely broke my heart that I couldn't do that for my baby... he cried relentlessly regardless of what I was doing. And we are starting to see this change...and it's amazing!
So here's to 2016
...being real, being vulnerable and not comparing my life, my marriage or our baby to anyone else. I'll never be perfect...but heres to striving to be a good wife, momma and setting one heck of an example for my baby boy! May I only strive to be like Jesus...to love like Him, to serve like Him, and to be as patient as Him!!
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| Christmas morning... our first attempt at a family photo |
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| Christmas night... our second attempt at a family photo |
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| Family photo SUCCESS! the day after Christmas... |
Sincerely, Loo
