Year 2

Two years ago on this day, I married my best friend.

It seems like just yesterday I was asking God... "when will I ever find my husband?"

I was single for 5 years.

At times, I lost hope. I didn't think I'd ever find "the one".

Everyone told me that I was "too picky"...

Through my single years, I was in many weddings, most of my friends were dating, engaged or married. I felt sad, hopeless, frustrated, lonely, even isolated at times. I clearly remember the nights when I would leave events, church services or friends houses and sit in my car crying out to God asking Him why I was still alone. 

My non verbalized thought process was plain and simple... go to college... meet a great guy... get married... follow him wherever he went... make babies... live happily ever after.

Well I watched this play out for most of my friends, but after college, I was still single, and then a few years passed, and I was still single. I was confused and felt so unsure of what I was going to do.

Then it hit me... like a bouquet smacking me in the face at a wedding... you know... because I was the girl who stood in the back with my hands behind my back during the bouquet toss...

I was so dependent on that being my story, that I wasn't open to the story that God had already written for me and my love life... He wanted me, my whole heart, my whole life.. He wanted my attention... and He got it!

I had hit such a low point of feeling sorry for myself, and pitying myself for still being single, that I had no where else to turn, than into His arms. 

In an old journal, with tear stains on the pages, I wrote that I'd never be able to find a man on earth who would love me the way that Jesus Christ loves me. The selfless, death bearing kind of love.

How crazy... God was waiting for me to realize the magnitude of His love. Finally, I clearly saw and felt that Jesus' love was way more than I was searching for in a boyfriend/fiance/husband. 

Nothing can compare to the way He loves me.

Did realizing this mean that being single was all of the sudden a walk in the park? Definitely not. 

But realizing it, helped in the moments of weakness when I felt like all hope was lost.

And then at the perfect time... when you least expect it, or even want it... God brings the man you've been waiting for into your life.

After God had captivated my heart... he brought Christopher Reese back into my life (we knew each other in high school). I was pretty certain he was NOT the one I had been waiting for... I was finally okay with being single, I was in a groove and he was not about to mess it up.

I told people he was not the one. I questioned him and his feelings.

However, after 2 months of earnestly seeking God's direction and listening to His voice,

He said yes, Chris is THE ONE!

Chris and I dated for 6 months...were engaged for 3...and we've now been married for 2 years!

Chris is my best friend and I am so thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

 But I am also so thankful for my single years with Jesus, that prepared and shaped me for this.

I realize more and more that I wasn't just waiting for the right guy... Jesus was waiting for me to love him the way I so desperately wanted to love a man... and because I learned to love Him the way He deserved, I believe that I am now able to love Chris the way that he deserves.

Happy Anniversary Christopher Reese, I love you!

Sincerely, Loo

Here's to another year of being married to my bestest friend...