Taken at my families farm in Maryland
The Path Home
The fear of losing my way overwhelms me.
Since marrying my best friend almost 2 years ago, my idea of home has changed significantly.
I lived in the tiny town of Sharpsburg, Maryland for 25 years. I know country, farm life, mountains, endless stars, rivers and creeks, family right around the corner. Life in Sharpsburg was easy and comfortable. I always felt at home.
In the last 2 years, we have lived in 5 different homes... my understanding of what home is is where the one I love is. My home is wherever my husband is.
We live in Georgia now... 640 miles away from the small town of Sharpsburg. Where there are no mountains, star gazing is limited to a handful of stars and the sound of crickets at night has been replaced with speeding cars and sirens.
We have made Georgia home... we love our church, we have a great small group, we rent a charming little house, we both have great jobs, and we live 20 minutes from the beach.
However, over the past month I have been overcome with the thought of moving home... to Maryland. Closer to family... closer to the mountains... home.
I have found myself in this rut of feeling bad about my situation.
Feeling unsatisfied with where I was so certain God led us just a year and a half ago.
I want to go home...
Why this sudden change of heart? Why am I so anxious?
Then, like a giant flashing light placed right in my path....
the home I need to go back to isn't my Maryland... I have wandered so far from my home in Jesus' heart that I must return!
Not that long ago I was praying these words...
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me
take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior"
Hillsong
May this song be my prayer once again. Wherever the Lord would take me... where I could never go on my own.
I don't just want to go home to Maryland, my heart is yearning to be home with Jesus. I have created this thought and feeling that living closer to my family would make me feel satisfied.
My path home though... it isn't 640 miles on 95 North... its getting down on my knees and asking the Lord God Almighty to embrace me and show me the plans He has for me and my family.
Where do you find your home?
Sincerely, Loo
This is beautiful! You captures my own heart in this season! Love this and love you. Oh I already have a new favorite must read blog!!
ReplyDeleteI so needed to read this reminder that no matter where God leads us in life, always go with a willing heart. I found your blog through Amber's blog and it's so adorable! Thank you for sharing your heart and faith on this part of the interwebs :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! Means a lot! It's hard to be this vulnerable for all to see, but I think it's just what I needed to help me really process life! Also... love Amber!
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