Mom Life Part 2

I really dislike resolutions... but I like goals and being challenged. 
This year, I am challenging myself and setting a goal to stop comparing. 

It doesn't matter what phase of life I am in... I find myself comparing my current state with everyone else. Whether it's my friends, my family, the people I follow on Instagram. It's easy to see other peoples beautiful homes, jobs that they love, babies who sleep ALL through the night (this is a big one for me right now), their perfect hair, cute outfits...whatever it is... those are just snapshots of their life. Although I can't see it, I know that they have bad hair days, and their baby cry and don't always sleep, and that their job has it's ups and downs and that behind the image of their perfectly clean and decorated home, there are most likely piles of laundry and dust bunnies hiding in the corners. 
Because honestly...who really has a perfect life thats all put together.. not anyone that I want to compare myself to.

So this year... I will stop looking at everyone else's 'perfect' photos and thinking thats what I have to measure up to. I will stop trying to make every photo look perfect with the cutest smile on my babies face, and the perfect filter, making sure to crop out the messes and dust bunnies in my pictures. Not that any of that is bad, but I don't want to live life trying to be perfect...because I'm not!

 

This is what half of our pictures of Grayson look like... :-\ it's all about what you choose to post...

So here's my real life confession:

Over the last 6 weeks, my prayer life has hit an all time high! Which is amazing! But so challenging at the same time. I sit holding my screaming baby with tears running down both of our faces, crying out to God, asking for strength and patience.

Being a mom is so hard sometimes. I want to love my child well, God has entrusted me with this little human, to love him and take care of him. But honestly, without the Lord's strength, I couldn't possibly do it. Being a mom requires you to be selfless, to give up sleep, showers, makeup, nice hair, hot meals... not that you can't have those things and be a mom... but the reality is that most days (especially when daddy's at work) those are all second priority to keeping my little guy happy, fed and clean. Which is OK! (really I'm ok with this...I think)

AND keeping this little human happy means throwing all of my preconceived ideas of what raising my baby would be like out the window...and not feeling bad about it. There are certain things that people (including me before baby) have ideas about and are frowned upon that just don't seem to matter anymore.

Example:  I swore I'd never co-sleep. We got this sweet little bassinet and placed it next to the bed, and until recently, Grayson wouldn't sleep more than 30 minutes in it. When it comes down to it, I will let my nursing baby sleep in my bed if it means I get a 2 hour stretch of sleep compared to 30 minutes. He's getting better now and is slowly sleeping longer stretches in the bassinet, but he still co-sleeps too.

I think a huge part of parenting is simply trusting your gut. God has given us this 'mom instinct' that is so real. From the beginning, our baby has cried...A LOT. Everyone told me their baby cried too, and that it was normal... but my gut told me it was not normal and that something was off. Even my mom after seeing one of his fits said it didn't seem normal.
 It's another topic for another day... but I refuse to believe that Colic is a real thing...it seems to be what doctors diagnose when a baby cries and they don't know why. There has to be a reason why my baby screams for hours on end in the evenings though.

Although I was skeptical, we took Grayson to the chiropractor this week, and he's already had 2 adjustments. We have seen so many improvements. It's been proven that long labors and deliveries (our labor was 54 hours with 2 hours of pushing) can really take a toll on the baby.
Well, clearly something was 'off' for Grayson... and we're getting it fixed! 
He still cries and it's going to take time and more appointments, but he smiles more, he cries less, he seems happier...and that makes this momma happy! 

A lot of people asked me when I was pregnant, what I was most excited about... and I always said that I was just so excited to be mom...to be the one that could calm the baby and make them happy. When baby cries, mom fixes it. And it absolutely broke my heart that I couldn't do that for my baby... he cried relentlessly regardless of what I was doing. And we are starting to see this change...and it's amazing! 


So here's to 2016
...being real, being vulnerable and not comparing my life, my marriage or our baby to anyone else. I'll never be perfect...but heres to striving to be a good wife, momma and setting one heck of an example for my baby boy! May I only strive to be like Jesus...to love like Him, to serve like Him, and to be as patient as Him!!

Christmas morning... our first attempt at a family photo 

Christmas night... our second attempt at a family photo

Family photo SUCCESS! the day after Christmas...

Sincerely, Loo

Mom Life

Being a mom is something that I've always looked so forward to. After growing up being best friends with my mom, I've always dreamed of and had the desire to have the same type of relationship with my children. Well I'm a mom now!! 

seems crazy that this was a week ago, right before we left the hospital.

It was a week ago that Chris and I finally got to bring our adorable baby boy home...
only after 54 hours of labor.

At 41 weeks and 3 days, we went to see our midwife for our weekly appointment and they scheduled our induction for 42 weeks. We prayed hard that we wouldn't go that long, but continued to trust that the Lord would bring our baby at the right time. Our midwife stripped my membranes to try to naturally induce labor (this was after trying ALL of the other wives tales... spicy food, clary sage oil, walking, skipping, curb walking, yard work, squats, eggplant parm, nipple stimulation, relaxation, lavender baths, chocolate for endorphins, ginger, making love, chinese food, pineapple, stretching, banana, raspberry leaf tea...). We tried everything to get this baby out!

Well... Wednesday afternoon, the contractions started and by Wednesday night, the contractions were about 3 minutes apart. We went to the hospital around 1am on Thursday morning and I was only 3cm dilated. They didn't want to admit me yet, so they let me stay in triage and they had Chris and I walk the empty hospital halls all night long. After 4 LONG hours, I was still at 3cm... but I was having contractions every 1-2 minutes... so... we kept walking. By 9am I was still at 3cm and they sent us home. (my mom and Chris' sister were both there all night supporting us, waiting with us - they are amazing!)
We were completely exhausted, so they gave me an ambient and told us to go home and try to rest. We slept for about 4 hours, having contractions the whole time through. I continued to labor at home with my contractions spreading farther apart until Thursday night when they got so close together and so intense, we decided to go back to the hospital. (at this time, my mom and Chris' sister started the wait again with us - they were amazing and such troopers)
At 3:30am Friday morning, I was 6cm dilated (we were so excited not to hear the number 3 again). They admitted us. After a day full of contractions getting closer and closer, and monitoring of me and the baby, they came back to check me at 4pm to see how dilated I was.... 8cm. The midwife looked at me and asked can you do another 12 hours to go 2cm more. Chris and I looked at each other, both started crying and I without hesitation said 'no'.

My body, my mind... they were exhausted... Chris was exhausted! We hadn't really slept since Tuesday night... it was Friday afternoon. Chris had been standing next to me all day, helping me relax, holding my hand, giving me water, praying over me and the baby, being the best support I could have ever asked for or expected.

The midwife asked if I wanted her to brake my water to speed things up and Chris and I decided this was the best option. She did, and the contractions got more and more intense but weren't getting any closer together. By 7:30pm, the nurses and midwife shift change had taken place, and when the new midwife came to check on me she checked and said I was at 10cm!! By this point, I felt like my body was going to shut down and the contractions were so intense, I had to push. She said okay, and my nurse said I wasn't ready... well after 2 hours of pushing, and needing an oxygen mask due to the baby's heart rate dropping, we could see the little head right there... so close... just not coming out. 
I pushed through 10 contractions with this tiny head full of hair poking out, and nothing was happening. I thought I can't push anymore, they have to get this baby out. I prayed and prayed that God would bring this child to us and that he would give me strength. As the baby's heart rate continued to be an issue, they saw that he had a bowel movement in utero and they became concerned about the stool getting in his lungs, and I felt like I was suffocating from the oxygen mask, she asked about an episiotomy and Chris and I decided yes, as soon as she gave me the episiotomy, this precious 7lb 11oz baby slid right out. They rushed our baby away to make sure the stool wasn't in his system and I begged Chris to leave me and go be with our baby and to find out if it was a boy or girl. 
He came back to me leaned over with a huge smile and said 'It's Grayson! It's a boy!'

My heart was so happy! I laid there staring across the room watching my amazing husband love and sing to our precious baby boy and the last 54 hours became a blur. I was overwhelmed thinking about the strength that came from our prayers, how God provided for all of our needs and helped me get through the absolute hardest thing I've ever experienced.

It is truly amazing how much joy and happiness came from something that was SO hard.
My heart melted time and time again as Chris selflessly gave of himself to me and my needs. He gave up sleep, skipped meals, stood on his feet day after day, encouraged me through every contraction. He wept with me when we felt discouraged and exhausted and prayed for the strength to keep going.
Then I see this amazing man that I love so much holding OUR baby... this tiny little human that WE made... we created him and brought him into this world! Wow... I am so blessed!

my first time holding Grayson Coy Reese - I love these 2 so much!

Baby oh Baby

With only 3 weeks til our due date... we're working as hard as we can to get everything done around the house. 

I have to say... seeing the carseat in the back of the jeep is one of my favorite things and just walking by the nursery stops me in my tracks and I get so excited starting in dreaming of our baby laying in the crib!

And can I just say that I am so blessed with such an amazing husband and family!

Chris worked so hard to paint the room, paint my old childhood dresser and remodel the baby closet. And our family and friends blessed us with all of the furniture and goodies we needed to complete the room.

It's been so fun making the room cozy and ready for baby... and not knowing the gender hasn't made it the easiest, but I love how it's turned out!

Cannot wait to have our sweet baby here with us.
Come on Baby Reese!

Sincerely, Loo

The Pregnant Life

Being pregnant has been one of the most amazing, crazy, unbelievable experiences of my life. As I expected that it would be... but just didn't know exactly what to plan for.

So much has changed in the last 36 weeks... I've changed physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally... our marriage has changed... our house has changed... our schedule has changed...

And every moment has been amazing and challenging all at the same time!

Some things I've learned about being pregnant:

*don't feel guilty if you're tired and need a nap. 

I struggled for a while with the feelings of guilt when I'd take a nap in the afternoon. I felt like I was being lazy, but I finally realized it was okay and I needed it. I have no reason to feel guilty, I'm growing a baby inside of me. It's exhausting... it's worth it... but a huge thing to take on physically and I deserve a nap sometimes!

*heartburn and indigestion are no joke.

I thought I knew what heartburn was before... I had no clue! Some really great natural remedies are... papaya enzymes, milk, apple cider vinegar (mixed with apple juice or water), DigestZen (essential oil - rubbed on throat and stomach). These are just a few things I've found that help without taking meds or Tums.

*let hubby take care and spoil you.

Again, I've found myself feeling guilty when Chris takes such good care of me and does so much for me. But after many conversations, I've learned that letting him do simple things for me like carrying the laundry downstairs, cleaning the kitchen, and making dinner are things that he can and wants to do for me. Carrying a baby is a lot of work, that he cannot do, but he can help me and I should let him.

*don't stress - just keep praying through it.

Becoming a parent is kinda huge! We are bringing a human into this world that we are responsible for and there are a lot of things to learn and prepare for. While it can be super overwhelming, I've realized that God has chosen us to be the parents for this baby. We're not going to know everything and we may make some mistakes (or a lot of mistakes) but it's okay. We pray that we will make the best choices and be the best parents, but stressing does nothing but make it all harder.

 

Sincerely, Loo

Growing Families

What a crazy summer it has been. I have had so much to say but no time to share it.

Not only is our small family of 2 growing to 3, but my immediate family is growing as well. In the last few months...

My big sister had the most precious baby girl, Everleigh Grace. 

And my not so little sister just married her best friend last weekend.

isn't she beautiful!!!!!!

 My cousin also had an adorable baby girl, Addison in July.

 My other cousin got married the middle of August in Baltimore.

Chris' step sister had a beautiful wedding the end of August.

And in 6 weeks (give or take) Chris and I will bring our baby home... 

This is at our 32 week ultrasound - the baby didn't give us a great picture but we could see the head full of hair!

My sweet parents have been troopers having 2 pregnant daughters and an engaged daughter all summer. Planning 2 baby showers, a bridal shower and a wedding has been very eventful and they have been champs!

                        Annie's wedding shower                                    Jessie's baby shower                                      My baby shower

I for one cannot wait until the holidays when we can just sit around eating lots of yummy food, loving on babies and being together! What a crazy summer!

It is so exciting!

Sincerely, Loo

It is hard to believe that this pregnancy is halfway over... 20 weeks has flown by! Being pregnant is so different than I ever expected. I've learned so much about myself and my hubby...as well as my body, babies, pregnancy, labor, and so much more. 

It's hard not to become emotional and a little bit overwhelmed when I stop and think about the fact that I'm carrying a human being  inside of my body.

In light of Father's Day being this past weekend, I want to brag on my husband. Chris has been the absolute most amazing husband and father already. He has taken such good care of me and the baby. He genuinely thanks me daily for carrying our child. He rubs my feet and back, cooks for us, he goes to every appointment with me, surprises me with treats often, helps me make every decision for the nursery (let's face it, pregnancy has only made me more indecisive), he prays for me and the baby everyday, he keeps me calm and brings peace when the doctor shares hard news, he talks to the baby everyday telling him or her how much we love them, he puts up with my complaining when I just don't feel good or can't get comfortable, he carries all of the laundry to the basement for me, tells me I'm beautiful everyday even when I feel ridiculous in all of my clothes and just want to stay in my pj's under a blanket, and the list could go on forever. He is amazing and has made this pregnancy so much more than I imagined. 

I cannot wait to meet our little 'Reese piece' in a short 20 weeks! Chris has been reading about pregnancy with me and has now asked if we can watch a delivery video so he is more prepared...I love that he wants to know and understand!

my favorite guy!

Although I'm tired, my hips hurt, I miss my old clothes, I have constant heartburn and I now have an outie rather than an innie... the last 20 weeks have been so worth it! To see images of this little human in my belly and to know that we made him or her out of so much love...ah! It's absolutely amazing! And I love that I get to go through all of this with my best friend... thanks Chris!

10 little toes...so perfect!

Sincerely, Loo

Birthday in OBX

It's hard to believe that Chris and I are 28 years old and having a baby... where has the time gone?

I have been blessed with the most amazing husband who always looks for ways to surprise me and spoil me. This year, he surprised me with a trip to the beach. 

I didn't realize how much I would miss living at the beach when we left Savannah.

 

This was our first time in OBX.

 

can you tell how much I love the beach!?

OBX... you did not disappoint!

We explored a lot of the island and visited Jockey's Ridge, where they were having a kite festival... so fun! We went to Bodie Island State Park and walked up all 219 steps to the top of the lighthouse. Then went to the Wright Brothers Memorial which was so cool to see where the first flight took place. 

Of course we couldn't travel to a new place and not eat good local food... we found local coffee, a local breakfast spot that was delicious, and we had to check out 2 of the local restaurants featured on Diner's Drive-In's and Dives... it was so worth it and so yummy (Tortuga's Lie and Cravings)!

happy momma and happy baby!

I even got a birthday from the babe... daddy is the best!

Thank you again for an amazing birthday Chris! You're the best. Love you!

Sincerely, Loo